You are currently browsing the monthly archive for October 2011.

It happened.  My mother is gone.

September 28th, 2011, at approximately 8:10pm Eastern Standard Time, she finally went home.

There’s so much to say and yet when I try and sit down to write about it, I find myself at a loss.  This grief is so deep, it penetrates to the marrow of my bones.  When I weep, it feels like my seams are coming undone.  When the sorrow begins, it won’t be choked down, it’s too strong, and so it boils up my throat and spills out.  Wave after wave of it.

There are moments when I want to pick up the phone and tell her something….and then I remember.

I wanted to tell her about everyone who came to her memorial.  I wanted to tell her what lovely things people said.  But she’s not here to listen.

My brain is covered in fine cotton.  The details of everday life and routine can’t be remembered as easily these days.

I want to tell you about her last month.  Her last days.  I will.  But the cotton covering my gray matter is not allowing me.  Soon….


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