Sometimes life changes in an instant, without warning. Sometimes it happens over a period of time, and you are aware that your life will change, so you prepare for it, and you make plans, and then the time finally comes for this change that you’ve been spending so much time preparing for and you PANIC. Because it doesn’t matter that you bought a bed, or that someone brought over a bag of clothes, or that you bought the homeschool version of Rosetta Stone English…all of those things you did to prepare cannot truly prepare you for the human being that will soon join the family. A human being with complex emotions, personality, life experiences…. Will she feel comfortable with us? Will we feel comfortable with her? What will “the everyday” be like with her?

We’ve been waiting for this since January, and now that the time has come to fly and meet her and bring her home, I wonder if we’re really ready? Can I be the mother this darling girl has longed for her whole life? Can I fulfill her needs? Will she be happy here or will she hate it? How will she grieve? How will she handle leaving everything she’s ever known? Will part of her resent us for taking her away from it all?

All of these questions and fears are as swirling as the reality of leaving is now here. I don’t have easy answers. This is life, and it’s messy. We don’t expect a fairy tale, but we do know God makes beauty from ashes.